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How to Marry a Multi-Millionaire: The Ultimate Guide to High Net Worth Dating.(4)

2008-06-25T00:48:00.000-07:00

/// Part Two ///

Creating a High Net Worth Appearance

( The Gold Digger's Guide to Beauty, Exercise, Dieting, Makeup and Fashion)

Chapter Five

BEING PRESENTABLE

When you are tracking big game on the High Net Worth Dating Circuit, you must pay attention to your quarry's surroundings. Understanding his social environment is as important as understanding him. You are not just seducing a single male, you must seduce his friends, parents, business colleagues and children, if any. All of these people have the ability to obstruct your path to the altar. If they don't like you, they may try to poison your relationship with your intended.

Getting the important people to like you, or at least be neutral toward you, requires effort, awareness and attention to detail. You will have to do things that these people perceive as being in their interest.

There are two basic aspects to making your intended happy with your relations with his family, friends and colleagues. The first is being presentable. The second is being an asset.

If you are not presentable, you will never get anywhere with your man. While he may adore sucking your toes, making love to you for hours on end or staying in bed with you for days at a time, if you are not presentable, he will never consider marrying you.

Looking the Part

Being presentable means understanding how he and his friends and family imagine his ideal mate. you must be warm and wholesome when you meet his parents or children. You must project the appearance of a responsible and caring person, not of a sexpot who can barely stand up in her high heels.

Here are some qualities you should display with his friends and family:

1) Be Gracious and Attentive.

Talk to everyone. Don't play favorites. If you are both at a party at his house, make sure the guests are comfortable, have been properly introduced and have a drink in their hand. Many rich men are utterly lacking in social skills and are dependent on their girlfriend to keep things moving smoothly at parties. if you do this well, he may begin to become socially dependent on you. He will have a better time when he goes out with you because he sees that you make an effort to attract and please other people. He will know that you know how to handle his family and friends in a positive way. If you are not normally gracious and attentive, take an acting class and pretend to be gracious and attentive.

20 Your Dress and Makeup Should Convey Elegance and Simplicity.

No fake nails or wild nail patterns. No excessive makeup. No wild fishnets at business or family gatherings or on visits with his five-year-old. Convey a positive, wholesome appearance for these important persons in his life.

30 Accents

There are only two universally acceptable accents. none and British. A heavy New Jersey, queens, Brooklyn, Midwestern or Boston accent will mark you as undesirable for life. If you have such an accent, or if you have a harsh, high-pitched or squeaky voice, hire a voice coach and start changing it. there is no point in circulating socially until you have gotten rid of your undesirable accent. High net worth men don't even want a hooker with a Brooklyn accent, much less a wife.

Southern accents can be charming and sexy. Some men are attracted to Southern accents. As long as you sound educated and sophisticated you can keep your southern accent.

Foreign accents are generally okay and can be a plus. British, French, Italian and Scandinavian or Dutch accents can be very sexy for the high net worth American. U.K. regional or lower class accents such as Jordy, Cockney, Irish or Scottish are not acceptable and should be purged. Unless your last name is Fanjul, heavy Spanish accents are generally not acceptable, even if you are Spanish.

4) Fat is Not Presentable.

There is only one body type the high net worth man really wants: Tall and thin, or failing that, medium tall and thin. Anything else and you are starting with a significant handicap. We don't care how tall you are. If you weigh more than 150 pounds you are not eligible for major league play.

High net worth men do not date or marry fat women. And if they marry a woman who becomes fat they will usually divorce her. The reasons for this are simple. Men do not like being shamed in front of other men. being with a fat woman means that all you can get is a genetically undesirable fat person. to be seen with a fat women is the ultimate humiliation for a man. It's like driving a beat-up car. A normal guy won't go near you if you are fat. While some men are fat fetishists, these men are rarely desirable high net worth targets.

Stay home until you are thin. And when you get thin, never admit you were once fat. he does not want to hear how proud you are of your weight loss accomplishments. he will be thinking only one thing, "she was fat once, she can be fat again!"

5) Hair is Only For Your Head.

The only hair on your body should be on the top of your head. In particular, there should be no mustache, no underarm hair, no nipple hair and no hair on your legs. your pubis should be completely shaved or have a thin, trim line leading down to your vagina. Dark hair on the arms can be just as unattractive as on your legs. Men like you smooth and soft. Men don't like hairy women. They want a Brazilian.

Shave it, wax it, laser it. But whatever you do, get rid of it!

6) Teeth

Teeth should be clean, white and bright with a fresh pink tongue. If you have grey or yellow teeth you will have to have them fixed or go et veneers. No one wants to kiss a woman with yellow teeth. Cosmetic dentistry can be the difference between being in the game or out of it.

7) Hands and Toes

Men do not like to see cracked or half painted fingers or toes. If you want a man to thank you don't care enough about yourself and him to have a manicure and pedicure, by all means stay home and concentrate on your career. Because you are never going to get married.

use one solid color. he does not want to see a kaleidoscope when he looks at your feet. And please no blue toenails! if you nails are bitten, half painted or painted in tracky colors it tells a man you don't care what the world thinks of him or you. Don't go to a date unless your nails are flawless.

8) Hire an Image Consultant

Held back by poor table manners, lousy taste, weak conversational skills, a grating accent, limited education or bad hair? No problem. hire an image consultant to polish your table manners and dining gestures and to help you achieve a complete professional image which enhances your best attributes while masking your flaws. The folks at essential image will even provide education on "fine food, drinks and wines" and help you "restructure and build... a well rounded wardrobe." And yes they can recommend a speech therapist, dietician, cosmetic surgeon and even an orthodontist or dance instructor. By the time they get through with you, you will look in the mirror and think you are seeing a young Brooke Astor!

(To be continued.)

How to Marry a Multi-Millionaire: The Ultimate Guide to High Net Worth Dating.(3)

2008-06-24T23:38:00.001-07:00

Chapter Three

THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT MEN

Men Are Not a Mystery

Many women are constantly puzzled by the behavior of men. These women keep expecting men to act like women and are surprise when they don't.

Men are not like women. They are, if you will, a different kind of machine. But a machine nonetheless. They behave in very predictable ways, more so perhaps than women.

here are some characteristics of men that may surprise you.

Men do not talk to each other about relationships

In fact, Men do not talk to each other at all. That's how they have time to watch sports. Men do not interpret life in terms of relationships. They interpret life in terms of results. They therefore have a much more black and white view of the world than women.

Men do not care about flowers

When a man gives you a beautiful bouquet you may be moved to tears. But he won't care about them at all. He is giving them to you to make you do something he wants you to do or to prevent you from doing something he doesn't want you to do (like dumping him). Most likely the flowers were chosen by his secretary. The only input he had was to say, "Don't go over $65." When you call to tell him how beautiful they are, keep in mind that he probably has no idea what he sent you.

Men do not even like flowers. If they did, they would give them to each other.

Men are visually oriented.

Men are initially attracted to you by your physical appearance. (Hence the importance of looking good). A man will almost never ask you out unless he is pleased and excited by your physical appearance.

A man may like you because you have nice feet. he may like you because you have large breasts or he may like you because you have long legs or beautiful eyes and thick pouty lips. It does not matters what he likes about you. he may call you obsessively because he is fantasizing about sucking your toes or having sex with you from behind. This does not mean he cares about you. In fact, you can be sure that he doesn't. you haven't had time for him to done to you. But you can still reel him in using the things he likes about you even if a continuing relationships is not initially on his agenda.

Healthy heterosexual men are not naturally monogamous

Men like to fool around. Given the chance they will. This is nothing personal. If they don't cheat on you it's not because they don't want to, it's because they value your relationship more than they do the chance for casual sex, or they may just be lacking opportunities to cheat. All things being equal, however, the majority of men will cheat on you if they have the opportunity.

Men are attracted to women of childbearing years

While you may grow old, your man will continue to be attracted to women of childbearing years. Women can be quite comfortable with a much older man. Men, on the other hand, are genetically biologically programmed to be primarily attracted to women who are under 35-years old. Men are designed to want children and they select mates that are capable of having them. That's whey many wealthy men trade in their wives for a younger woman every 10 years or so. This is not because men are evil of selfish. This is simply because they are men. Men want to be with a woman of a woman of childbearing years even if they don't want to have children. This is why you must be prepared to fight for a big divorce settlement if he decides to trade you in.

Sex becomes more and more infrequent the time you spend together. however, his sex drive is by no means diminished.

There is an old joke that there is no sex after marriage. After a year or so of marriage you may find that this joke is on you. Your man will usually grow tired of having sex with you. This is a very bad sign for the future of your relationship, because you can be sure that his sex drive has not diminished. Your man just isn't finding you as the outlet he wants anymore.

Men like to please women, but they must feel that they can please her

A man will dump a woman he is very attracted to physically if he feels he cannot please. Men like to please women. But a woman who is constantly and relentlessly demanding will not hold on to her man because he will soon realize that no matter what he does he can never please her. This will make him miserable. More importantly, it will make him dump her. Encourage your man by showing him that he can make you happy. That will make him happy.

Men can be broken

Ask any woman who has been married five years or more. She has found the way to break down her man by getting him into a routine of being with her. Eventually they get used to the idea of being with you. after that he may get used to the idea of not being with other women, although in many cases this is a longer process. The point is you can succeed in breading him down by subtly working your way into every aspect of his life.

Men can't read your mind and don't want to

Worse than that they don't have a clue what is in it. that's why you must communicate clearly what you expect of him. Communicate in a clear but positive and upbeat way what it is you want him to do. He will want to please you if you show him you care. Being angry with him will just turn him off to you. If you yell at him you can be sure he won't do what you want. Don't expect him to know what you want. The thing you want would probably never occur to him in a thousand years. it's up to you to communicate your needs and desires. If you don't, no one else will.

Men view how you look as a reflection on them

No man wants to be seen with an unattractive or unpresentable woman. Every an wants to be seen with a beautiful woman on his arm. This is the highest status a man can achieve. There is nothing more humiliating for a man than to be seen with an ugly woman. From his perspective your looks are not about you, they are assets to him. If you don't look good enough to make him proud he will drop you. And he may do so after years of marriage. The high net worth man's nagging desire to trade up is an issue you will facing throughout your tenure as a high net worth wife. Keep in mind that because he is rich he will always be able to replace you if he wants to. Protect yourself financially in case disaster strikes. It can arrive with startling swiftness.

Life is a Business; Marring a High Net Worth Man is a Job

Life is a business and human beings are traders by nature. Your man will only care about you if he perceives that you are adding value to his life. You add value by being presentable to his friends, colleagues, family and strangers, by being an asset in his life and by giving him what he wants in bed. Unless you are providing value you can be sure he won't marry you. No employer will hire a person who can't do the job. Your knight in the shining silver jet will certainly not marry you unless he perceives you as someone who can provide continuing value. Being his wife is a very lucrative opportunity which can provide lifetime security and benefits for you and your future children. In exchange you will be expected to supervise and decorate multiple households, arrange social events, bear his children, be available for sex (whenever and however he wants it), make sure his life runs smoothly and look damn good doing it. It won't be easy but it will be well worth it!

Chapter Four

THE MOGUL PERSONALITY

If you are going to dig for real gold, you had better understand what you are getting into. While every mogul is different, with many unique positive and negative characteristics, the super-successful man will usually have the following qualities.

1) He will be different.
One of the most attractive qualities of the super-successful man is his highly developed sense of self-confidence. He knows who he is and he knows that he wants. If he want you he means it.

2) He will be very intelligent.

The super-successful man has a piercing intelligence that often gives him the ability to unravel extremely complex and difficult circumstances and see through to the most probable end result and how it will affect him. Such men often have a unique eye-opening perspective on the world because they see things so differently from the mass of ordinary people.

One mogul we know how had just bought a gay newspaper in a major city to help with his liberal wife's election campaign was being lambasted in the press by gay activists for buying the newspaper in that they viewed as a Wall Street takeover o fan important gay media outlet. When we asked this mogul how he felt about the thrashing he was getting from the press his response was certainly counter-intuitive:

"We think it's great," he said, "It's free publicity for the paper which will make mainstream advertisers comfortable that they can advertise with us without being identified with the radical gay element. This will increase our revenue between 20 and 305. Of course he was right.

3) He will be a risk taker.

You may find your mogul repeatedly gambling his existing assets to build something bigger. Your stomach may be permanently experiencing that sinking feeling from the incredible risks he is willing to take. But don't worry. Even when they fail, these guys can usually pick themselves up and get back on their feet in very short order. Read Trump: The art of the comeback, by co-authors Kate Bohner and Donald J. Trump, for a good example of how a mogul made it back from the precipice.

4) He has a low level of fear.

While he may not be completely fearless, he will be unafraid to be himself and will be much less afraid of external circumstances than the ordinary person.

5) He will be extremely energetic.

He may not need much sleep. He will have the energy to run you ragged.

6) He will be charming

Even when a successful man lacks social skills he will have charm. If he is charmless he is unlikely to stay successful.

7) He will be aware of the surrounding circumstances and people to the extent that they affect him.

He knows how others perceive him and he will have a sense (perhaps a somewhat exaggerated sense) of his own power.

8) He will be determined and persistent, even ruthless in getting what he wants.

He may perceive obstacles as opportunities and if he really wants something he will not take 'NO" for an answer.

9) He will be optimistic and positive in dealing with others.

He will be confident about his ability to get what he wants. That's how he become so successful in the first place.

10) He will be extraordinarily, mind-bogglingly selfish.

The super-successful man always asks what is in it for him. His ultimate concern is himself. It will be a challenge to make him care about you.

11) The super-successful are sued to getting their own way. Quickly, and watch out for detectives. You may find that he is controlling to the point of having you followed or kept under surveillance.

12) He may be one of more of the following:
i) Narcissistic;
ii) Charismatic;
iii) Secretive;
iv) Stingy;
v) Angry and irritable in private;
vi) Difficult to bond with;
vii) An insomniac;
viii) Or large girth or appetites;
ix) Vengeful;
x) A liar

13) He will understand that life is a business.

He will want to know what value you can add to his life.

Mogul personalities are often very difficult to live with if you fight with them for control. They may clash with a strong independent woman. Mogul personalities like to control the people around them. Sometimes they control people by taking care of them. in effect they want to own you. There is no point in fighting with him over this. You are not going to win. With the mogul personality, demonstrating your financial independence may make him uncomfortable. He will like to pay for you and give you gifts. This is something you should be able to learn to accept.

The Trump Dump

It was pitch-black in the auditorium. Donald Trump was bellowing through the public address system: "We had the best year ever!" The employees cheered. It was the holidays. The Plaza Hotel in New York City. The Trump Organization Christmas part.

Kate Bohner had spent the past months writing trump: The Art of the Comeback. Like many business magazine journalists, she had jumped at the chance to write what had to become a bestseller. So here she was, six months hence - after Trump: The Art of the Comeback had indeed become a bestseller, number 3 on the New York Times list and number 1 for The Wall Street Journal.

"Now I want to talk about my book..." cooed the Donald into the microphone. "KateSo, you here?" His ruddy, bloated face floats above the microphone. he scanned the room. "KateSo!" he barked.

Kate raised her hand from the back of the ballroom.

"I'm the only person who has a ghost writer whose picture is on the back of the book," the Donald continued. The crowd chuckled. "But hey, she's kind of great looking. " The room bursts into applause.

Later that evening, as the bad 12-piece band blared, Kate Bohner approached the Donald. She had something very important to go over with him. It was about the book.

The deal with this. She got paid 60K for the manuscript - in three installments.

"KateSo," The Donald had told her back in May. "If the book goes above number five on the new York Times bestseller list... I'll bonus you 100 grand."

The book was at Number 3. Kate was at the Christmas party to collect her bonus.

A bit later, Kate approached The Donald. He was perched by the shrimp platter. "Hey Donald, what about my 100 grand?"

"KateSo", he turned and narrowed his eyes. "Sue me", he declared coldly.

Kate was stunned.

But why was she shocked?

Over the past year, in the course of writing the book, Kate told us she has watched The Donald offer 10 cents on the dollar to settle a bill he owed to a contractor with four kids who had just lost a big job. She had seen him fire that contractor's brother, a steam fitter, on Christmas Day. The Citiback loan officer who had turned him down for a revolving credit facility in 1995, when he nearly went personally bankrupt? The Donald spent hours ensuring her son had difficulties getting a commercial lease in New York City.

Why had Kate thought she was any different?

The truth is it was nothing personal. Trump was just being the Donald. To him it was just business. Kate hadn't gotten the bonus promise in writing. In Bohner's view, The Donald stiffed her just because he could.

Trump, like every truly successful person, is totally focused on his own needs and desires. His real expertise is taking care of himself. people like trump seem aggressively selfish... because they are. And it's not necessarily a bad thing.

Study your target carefully. If he has a classic mogul personality, you will be able to fit very nicely into his life on his terms in the classic manner. he pays the bills and you lobby quitely for the things you really want. Whatever power you have will have to be exerted from within the context of your relationship through cajoling and persuasion.

In a sense, the classic mogul personality fits perfectly with the classic gold digger. Both operate on the principal of taking care of number. He gets control and you get the Blackglama mink coat. That' whey so many wealthy men end up with Gold Diggers. In the end, they are made for each other.

(To be continued)

How to Marry a Multi-Millionaire: The Ultimate Guide to High Net Worth Dating.(2)

2008-06-24T23:35:00.000-07:00

/// Part One ///

High Net Worth Mating

Chapter One

The Honorable Gold Digger

Taking care of Number One

There is nothing wrong with true love. If you can find it. The problem is most people never do. And women who sit around passively waiting for their true love to walk into their life and find them are bound to be disappointed. The only thing that will find them is old age.

While we should never give up the hope of finding true love, in the meantime looking out for number one is the most effectively strategy for individual survival. There really is no meaningful alternative to a strategy of self-interest.

A woman exists primarily to fulfill her own needs and desires her ultimate concern must be herself and her well being. Securing her financial security and comfort with an exciting and successful high net is a key goal for every intelligent, aggressive woman.

The best way to secure your future for yourself and your children is to marry a man who is rich enough and capable enough to survive comfortably through any foreseeable financial reversal.

Women need to secure their financial future while they are still of childbearing age so they can raise a family in comfort. Even high-powered Wall Street careers will rarely allow a woman time to amass enough wealthy to retire and raise a family in style and comfort.

if you graduate from business school between 23-25 years of age, it will take your at least 10 years to achieve the rank of Managing Director at a Wall Street investment bank. Even if you stay there working 16 hour days and claw your way to the top, you will just be reaching your peak earning power as your fertility begins to decline precipitously. This is the time when many professional women panic and start desperately trying to seek a husband. At this point you are negotiating from a position of weakness. your dates can see the desperation in your eyes. And the anxiety about missing the chance to have children will adversely affect and may even overwhelm your emotional well-being and can damage your high-powered career.

But if you start planning in your 20s and focus on marrying a rich man with the same dedication you would devote to a Wall Street career, you are much more likely to be rewarded with success and a great lifestyle.

Do you really want to end up as a haggard, overworked, overwrought, childless and single middle-aged woman? Or do you want to get out there and fight for a successful, intelligent and dynamic high net worth man now, while you can still get one.

The choice is yours.

A time-honored profession

Marrying wealthy is a time-honored profession. It is best distinguished from the world's oldest profession by one important fact. It is older. And, of course, wives and mothers are not usually paid by the hour.

It doesn't matter where you live. It doesn't matter where you are now. It does not matter what you do for a living. even if you are stuck on a dirt farm in Arkansas or lying in rags on a bearskin rug in a cave in Siberia, if you are an attractive woman, you can land a wealthy husband by getting on the next plane to New York City. you don't even need to speak much English. All you need is a shower, a manicure, pedicure, high heels and a great out fit. Then get on the high net worth dating circuit. Charge your tickets to the important benefits listed below and get out there and date. The world is about to become your playground.

You add value

As an ambitious woman, you should think of yourself as a value added service provider. you should not seek positions where you are insufficiently compensated for the value you added to your man's life.

An ambitious woman can provide the following diverse array of services to her wealthy companion or significant other. She offers:
1) Charming companionship
2) Intense sex
3) Social graces
4) Arm and eye candy(yourself and your attractive girlfriends)
5) Potential wife and mother material for his unborn heirs
6) A helpmate to organize his social and professional life
7) Interior decorator for multiple residences and the Gulf Stream.

Finding a High Net Worth Mate is Full-Time Job

In fulfilling all of these roles or in seeking a position as a wife or mistress you will have overhead. You will have expenses. Your income must over all the following expenses and fund a healthy nest egg for your future retirement (in case, despite all of your good efforts, you never do land that high profile husband).
1) Apartment or house
2) Gym and personal trainer
3) Spa treatments
4) Manicure and pedicure
5) High-end hair salon
6) Large wardrobe of sexy clothes for many possible occasion from an outdoor barbecue, to the beach, to the Metropolitan Museum Gala Costume Institute Party, to summer and winter cocktail parties, ski trips, dinners and business conferences.
7) la Perla, Wolford, Eres, and Agent Provocateur underwear
8) High-end handbags,
9) Shoes, shoes, shoes
10) And last but not least, especially in the later years, plastic surgery.

This adds up to a great deal of cash. You may be tempted to take a full-time job. That could be a mistake. Not having a steady source of income while piling up huge debts will actually incentivize you to be bolder in seizing high net worth dating opportunities.

Besides, you don't have time to work!

Chapter Two

The Tao Of Gold Digging

Gold digging is an art. To learn it well you must understand the basic principles and philosophy of the successful Gold Digger. The following Gold Rules can be used to successfully organize your life.

THE 10 GOLD RULES
1) Life is a business and nature is a free market system.
2) Your appearance is your most important economic asset.
3) Marriage can be a very lucrative occupation.
4) You will get the job if you add value.
5) Good is what's good for you.
6) Evil is anything not in your interest.
7) What he likes about you is not about you.
8) Morality is an opinion.
9) Rejection is information.
10) The best things in life are very expensive.

THE 10 GOLDEN RULES EXPLAINED

Life is a Business and Nature is a Free Market System

You only get gold by giving it. You will only marry a rich man if you can demonstrate the value you add to his life. Don't count on him marrying you for love. It isn't going to happen unless you know him how you can be an asset to him. And since nature is a free market system you can claw your way to the top just as men do in business. you just can't be quite so obvious.

Your Appearance is Your Most Important Economic Asset

Beauty is among the highest accomplishments for a woman. Beauty is a sign of genetic health. That's why men are attracted to beautiful women. Your job is to make yourself look beautiful whenever you go out in public. Beauty creates possibilities. Looking good is an economic asset. Your man wants a beautiful woman on his arm. Your beauty is not about you. It's an asset to him. If he doesn't think you look good on him, he won't marry you.

Marriage Can Be a Very Lucrative Occupation

No matter what career you choose, you can't possibly earn as much money as you will in the position of high net worth wife. Single women can't make enough to afford big houses in Southampton, Aspen, Palm Beach and New York. Don't kid yourself. The position of a wife to a wealthy man is far and away the best paying job you can have.

You Will Get the Job if You Add Value

Being an asset to him in as many ways as possible is the surest way to increase the net assets line in your financial statement. Give him what he wants and needs and he will give you gold (and diamonds too!).

Good is What's Good for You

You've got to start by redefining your values. You must realize that good and bad can only be judged in relation to a goal. They do not exist in the abstract. Good is when you lure your high net worth fiance away from your best girlfriend. Good is when you get what you want.

Evil is Anything Not in Your Interest

Evil is when your best girlfriend steals the heart of your fiance and he ends up marrying her and not you or if he goes back to his ex-girlfriend or wife. Evil is when someone else gets what you want.

What He likes About You is Not About You

Your prospective husband will like you only to the extent you give him what he wants. He may want you for sex, motherhood, and to be his social director, golf partner, cook and girl Friday. He may want you because he likes to lick your toes. He may like you because you know a lot about decorating or cooking. he may like you because you have good genes or large breasts or a distinguished family name. Whatever the reason, don't forget that these are all qualities that are assets to him.

Morality is an Opinion

Your job is to get your guy, not to speculate on the moral fabric of the universe. It's rare that two people's views of morality will coincide. Don't worry about the morality of marrying for money, worry about your waistline and the size of your ass. That is far more productive.

Rejection is Information

Rejection means you are in the game. If you never want to be rejected you might as well give up now. Rejection is something you learn from. What you learn is what your guy wants. Whether he wants you or doesn't want you the reasons will be his reasons. Rejection just means he didn't perceive you as a significant asset to his life. Sometimes this happens when a man figures out what you are really up to.

The Best Things in Life Are Very Expensive

Private schools, ski vacations, good jewelry, palatial homes and high-end handbags come at a steep price. The only way to afford them (unless you are one of the lucky few who inherited substantial wealthy), is to get someone to buy them for you. And believe us when we tell you that, except in very unusual circumstances, he will not be buying you a palatial home unless you are married to him.

THE 10 GOLDEN COMMANDMENTS - A FRAMEWORK FOR ACTION

Once you understand the 10 Golden Rules you are ready for the 10 Golden Commandments. The 10 Gold Commandments give you the framework for action you need to snare a high net worth husband.

1) In every relationship, always ask, "What's in it for me?"
2) Help yourself and let others help themselves.
3) Know what you want.
4) Be energetic and persistent in pursuing your man.
5) Know when to break the rules.
6) Don't be nice, be charming and sexy.
7) Be flexible and aware of shifting opportunities.
8) Don't get angry, get what you want.
9) Don't be negative.
10) Understand that what others do is not about you.

THE 10 G0LDEN COMMANDMENTS EXPLAINED

In Every Relationship, always Ask, "What's in it for me?"

This is the key question in every phase of human interaction. If you don't know what you are getting out of the situation, why are you in it? If you can't answer this question it is often because you are doing something to please another person, not yourself. This will usually end up making you unhappy. Don't do things to please other people, do them to please yourself.

Help Yourself and Let Others Help Themselves

Worry about yourself. if you want o help a person, do so because it provides some benefit to you. Helping others with no benefit to yourself is a symptom of low self-esteem and a recipe for personal failure. Saying of others "she's out for herself" is not a very pointed criticism. After all, who with any sense isn't?

Know what you want

If you don't know what you want you are never going to get it. Some women don't want to marry a rich man. Some women don't want to be able to buy anything they want. We don't know who these women are but we see them everywhere, working in meaningless office jobs, cleaning up office buildings, working in the supermarket or the post office or just walking around looking aimless and bored. These women don't realize that if you don't know what you want no one else will.

Be Energetic and Persistent in Pursuing Your Man

Life is a process of trying something, bumping up against an obstacle and being repulsed, then trying something different until finally you have a breakthrough and achieve your goal. Since you will constantly run into obstacles, you will be defeated if you lack the energy and persistence to get around them. when you run into an obstacle, instead of getting discouraged, try to see what opportunity the new obstacle presents. you may find that what looked like an obstacle may actually be something that can help you get your guy.

Know When to Break Rules

Rules are for other people. Don't obey rules for their own sake. They were not made for your benefit. Crashing a big charity benefit may be against the rules but if you do it you may be able to meet a number of eligible high net worth men. No one will thank you for obeying the rules and staying home to watch TV because you can't afford a benefit ticket or because it is sold out or you weren't invited. On the other hand you should not take extreme risks of long-term adverse consequences. Committing violent crimes of aggression to sabotage your girlfriend's efforts to land the man you want is unlikely to be the most efficient way to archive your goal. Simply undermine your rivals with malicious gossip. It is not necessary to physically kill them. Deciding whether to break or bend a rule is simply a matter of balancing the relative costs and benefits of the alternative courses of action.

Don't Be Nice, Be Charming and Sexy

Being charming, sexy and flirtatious is an important tool for getting what you want from another person. Being nice is weak because it does not ask for anything. Don't be nice gratuitously, but always be charming. The positive energy you exude can reap enormous benefits by attracting people to you who can help you get what you want.

Be Flexible and Aware of Shifting Opportunities

Circumstances are constantly changing. Your sensitivity and awareness of what is going on around you are your most important tools for getting what you want. By being aware of other people's needs and desires, you can figure out what you can offer them to get them to do what you want. The Key to life is being in the moment. If you are distracted, tired, cross or grumpy, you will miss numerous opportunities around you. You are most likely to be in the moment when you are well rested, look good and feel confident. If you are in the zone, you will have a much more positive experience of life. if you are grumpy and negative, you will repel rather than attract people and you will lose out on the possibilities they offer.

Don't Get Angry, Get What You Want

Anger is frustration at your own impotence in the face of a failure to get what you want. it is childish, tantrum-like, and has no place in your repertoire of emotions. If you are successful at getting what you want, you will have no reason to be angry. And if you fail to get what you want, it's usually because you made a mistake or miscalculation or failed to take into account an external circumstance or another person's action. This is a reason to do better next time. It is not a reason to be angry. So don't go psycho! Go shopping instead.

Don't Be Negative

Positive action requests a positive result. Being negative doesn't work because it doesn't ask for anything positive to happen. Criticism can be great fun but it won't solve the problem. Only positive action solves problems. Being negative repels other people instinctively because they know it is not a successful strategy. And other people won't want to be around you if they perceive you are an unsuccessful person. By being negative, you are waving a sign post that reads "I don't know how to get what I want. All I know how to do is complain."

Understand That What Others Do Is Not About You.

Other people do things for their own reasons. They usually don't do them intentionally to help or hurt you. They are just trying to get what they want. You may be in the way or you may not be. The best way to avoid the energy drain and friction that comes from confrontation is to stay out of the way of other people when it does not hurt you to do so. There is no point in having a confrontation over the fact that someone shoved you in the subway. It's simply energy draining and a complete waste of time. The Manolo Blahniks sample sale? That's a situation where you should get aggressive. Grab that last pair of silver stilettos right out of the hands of that pushy publicist ahead of you, sweetie!

How to Marry a Multi-Millionaire: The Ultimate Guide to High Net Worth Dating.(1)

2008-06-24T23:20:00.000-07:00

How to Marry a Multi-Millionaire: The Ultimate Guide to High Net Worth Dating.

Introduction

IT'S NOT ABOUT THE MONEY - SUCCESSFUL MEN ARE JUST SEXIER

Most women don't list wealthy or appearance as the most important characteristic in a mate. the most common qualities cited by women in a desirable man are confidence, charm, humor, intelligence, and aggressiveness. we all prefer a man who knows who he is a loves what he does.

Of course, these are primary characteristics possessed by most wealthy and successful men. In the business world you simply don't make it unless you are smart, confident and aggressive and know what you want. Even if they don't have it naturally, successful men develop humor and charm as tools from their experience in dealing with others. Most very high net worth men are quite charming, although they may sometimes appear brash and forceful to the point of rudeness or even bad taste. they are who they are and they want you to know it. This is a very attractive quality

Super-successful men re not generally shy, uncertain, tentative or insecure about what they want (although they may be vain and insecure in other ways). The nice thing about super-successful men is they won't waste your time if they don't want you. If they make an effort to be with you it's because they want to be with you.

And what woman doesn't want a man who wants her?

"It's not really about the money," says Kelly, a lithe tanned brunette with deep sea green eyes. "I love self-made men because there's tremendous security in knowing that whatever happens, they have what it takes to bounce right back. and there's something else. when a self made man flies you to Paris for the weekend in his private jet, you know he's doing it because he wants to be with you. Because there's a lot of others things he could be doing with his time."

It isn't just the cash that makes these men sexy. but the cash is a very nice side benefit.

Let's be practical. we all want a nice home, a good car, great clothes, vacations at a fashionable resort and the means to entertain our friends and raise our children in reasonable comfort and style. We want to put our children through a good college and we want decent jewelry to wear when we go out.

Does this make us all Gold Diggers?

No Way!

Is this too much to ask?

Of course not.

Now go back and add up the cost of the basic items we just mentioned. Then figure out the income you would need to cover the after-tax cost of those items and to put away a nest egg for your retirement. Now let's assume you live in New York City or another expensive urban center.

Finished calculating?

For these basic needs you will require pretax income at least $500,000 annually.

Now (if you are lucky enough to have a job) look at your pay stub for last month and multiply the income shown by 12.

Surprise!

It's not enough to cover even these basic needs. If you are like most working women, you will need at least 10 to 20 times what you are now earning to raise a family in reasonable comfort. And you may have a job where you will not be able to advance if you pause to have even one child, much less two or three.

Your dream life is already running a big deficit and you haven't even started yet!

Who is going to make up the difference?

Your future husband, that's who.

But where are you going to find a man who wants to marry you who makes a half million dollars a year? You aren't even meeting guys like that. How are you going to get one of these guys that you aren't even meeting to marry you?

It gets worse.

You don't even want a guy who makes $500,000 a year.

Why not?

Because $500,000 is not nearly enough money!

What about that second house in the Hampton or Palm Beach? They can easily run you another $2 to $35 million each or more. Not to mention a car for you, a live-in nanny, the maids in the city and the country, your spa treatments and yoga classes, your lunches at The Four Seasons and additional Plastic surgery as you get into your 40s. and what about your jet? I mean who wants to fly commercial anyway?

But here's more. What about that Bulgari watch you've had your eye on? Not to mention the $85 annual membership fee for the Southampton Bath and Tennis Club and $100,000 for the campaign to get in. and then there's another $6,000 a month in charity benefits just so you have something to do in the evening. And you don't want to have to worry about financial reversals, stock market declines and all those beastly lay-offs on Wall Street.

No. Your Husband must have a cushion. Your Husband must have a minimum net worth of at least $10 million with current annual income in excess of one millionaire dollars.

Now we are beginning to talk some sense.

"We want love, but we expect money," We were told by a former MS, Michigan and the winner of 25 other beauty pageants. "Most of my New York girlfriends won't date anyone who makes less than one million dollars a year." But this beauty, who is independently wealthy, says she can afford "to go down to "$300,000."

There are approximately 100,000 men in the united states with a net worth of over $10 million dollars and an annual income in excess of $1 million. Over half of them live in Manhattan, Los Angeles, Palm Beach and Aspen. there are about 160 million women living in America today.

Guess what? Those millions of women all want the same thing you do. This priceless book, will show you how to beat the odds and outsmart all 159.9 million of them while you land yourself a high net worth husband. Here's how to get started:

1) Buy this book immediately!
2) Get down to your fighting weight using the Gold Digger's Diet(TM) explained in this book.
3) Consult a top plastic surgeon to correct any obvious flaws and to enhance your appearance.
4) Move to Manhattan.
5) Get on the social scene, identify your knight in shining armor, pull him off his high horse.

Grab your knight in shining armor by the cojones!

Your husband-to-be is not going to descend from heaven on a white steed clad in shining armor. he is not going to come charging through your life and scoop you onto his horse and carry you away to the big house on the beach of your dreams. He is not going to call you site at home waiting for the phone to ring.

You are going to have to get out there and find your sexy mogul and pull him off his horse by the balls! Otherwise he will continue on his way seeking other women until he meets his match. who is his match? The girl who can knock his horse unconscious with a good right hook while standing upright in her Manolo Blahniks and holding a champagne glass in her left hand.

We don't care who you are or where you live. As long as you are under 35-year-old and don't have a face like a bashed crab you can marry a high net worth man following the steps listed in this book. And if you do have a face like a bashed crab, get it fixed and then follow the steps in this book. If you are over 35 years of age don't despair, you can always work the senior circuit which in many ways can be more lucrative than regular league play.

If you want to be poor, by all means sit at home waiting for your phone to ring. if you want a great life with the big lifestyle that comes with it, buy this book now and get out there and fight for it!

Five first date Forget-me-Nots

2008-06-22T23:46:00.000-07:00

You might know her as the lovely (and brave) cohost of MTV's Loveline or from her current role on The Job, but this actress also has some hilarious secrets on friendship that she shares in her new book The Girl Code. Check out these five must-read dating rules before you go out on your next date - or send them to your favorite single friend! She'll thank you for it!

The Ugly Underwear Rule

If you really want to hook up on a first date, wear your ugliest underwear. Inevitably, you'll hook up.

The Unshaven Legs Rule

If you apply this and the ugly underwear rule at the same time, you'll probably marry the guy.

R.K.

When the date is over and you think you like him but you're still not exactly sure, a little recreational kissing probably won't hurt him or you. And…it may help answer that question of whether you're interested.

I.R.K.

Irresponsible Recretional Kissing is when you make out with him because you foolishly think you have to or when you already know you're not interested and just aren't mature enough to say so.

Pick Up After Yourself

If a girlfriend was kind enough to loan you an outfit for this important evening out, make sure you dry-clean it immediately. Don't keep it, thinking you have some nostalgic right to adopt it. Return it – cleaned – by next weekend, or you could karmicly damage the date you just had. (Not really, but return her damn clothes anyway.)

Creative Date Ideas

2008-06-22T23:44:00.000-07:00

If you want to inject a little romance or spontaneity into a date, without breaking the bank, try following some of these ideas. You might just surprise yourself - and your partner!

1. Hike to the top of a mountain for a picnic.

2. Take a rowboat out on a lake at sunset.

3. Go up to the top of a building in a large city and take in the view.

4. Dress for a formal party, and then walk down the streets singing love songs.

5. Find a dark, romantic bistro with great coffees and desserts, or an independent book store that encourages browsing.

6. Find a rarely-used corner deep in the stacks of your library. Blow the dust off some musty old volume and read it aloud together. Steal a few hot kisses.

7. Pretend you've just won the lottery. "Shop" for your dream furnishings in elegant craft galleries, jewellery stores, and similar shops.

8. Test drive a sports car together.

9. Visit a specialty food factory such as a chocolate factory.

10. Browse a ritzy museum, gift shop or art gallery.

11. Drive along the outer borders of your city or county, exploring new neighbourhoods and villages where you've never been.

12. Ride a city's entire public rail transit system, going out on remote branch lines, just for the heck of it.

13. Spend the whole evening dressed and acting as characters from a play, movie, or book that you both enjoyed.

14. Speak only gibberish and let your thoughts be understood from your emotions, gestures, and tone.

15. Explore a wild and scenic place you've always wanted to check out.

16. Walk around celebrity neighbourhoods, looking for glimpses of the rich and famous.

17. Do something completely out of character--something you ordinarily wouldn't be caught dead even thinking about.

18. Go explore a local flea market one Saturday.

19. Get a guide book for your city. See you area through the eyes of tourists. You will be amazed at all the attractions that are hidden nearby.

20. Star gazing - Get a book on constellations and watch the stars. This can be especially fun during a meteor shower.

Ideas for Girls:

1. Go rollerblading. If you know how to rollerblade and he doesn't, teach him. If he knows and you don't, let him teach you. This date is great for breaking the ice because both of you will embarrass yourselves so much that you won't help but be able to laugh. Your true personalities will show.

2. Go for a walk, maybe some coffee after. It seems simple enough, but you'd be surprised about what you'd find out about someone if you'd just give them a chance to tell you. Besides, there's nothing like the ambiance of a great, romantic cafe to get you in the mood.

Ideas for Guys:

1. There's nothing like a good picnic. You can't argue with a classic.

2. Go to see the planes take off. This may be a little difficult, but sometimes there are little nooks and crannies by the highways and roads off of the runways. You can lie down on top of the hood of the car or lay a blanket on the ground and watch as the planes fly right over your head.

3. Plan a romantic evening with chocolate covered strawberries and slow music. Find some of her favourite songs and compile them onto one cassette and play them while you feed her strawberries.

Seasonal Ideas:

Winter Ideas

1. Make a lunch or dinner of hot soup and rolls together and set the table with candles. Play your favourite music.

2. Have an indoor picnic -- lay out a blanket and bring a picnic basket -- just have it on your living room floor!

3. Build a fire and roast marshmallows. If you don't have a fireplace, build a small safe campfire outside. Be sure to put it out completely when you're done and before leaving the area.

4. Build a snow fort together.

5. Surprise your date with "Summer in a Bag!" Get creative: Gather together 2 pairs of sunglasses, coconut suntan oil (for the smell of summer), Put on a Beach Boys CD, blow up a beach ball to toss and pretend it's hot out. It's silly, but it can take the edge out of the winter blues.

6. Make a snowman and snowwoman.

7. Go ice skating.

8. Make angels in the snow.

9. Bundle up and go someplace to watch the sun set over a silhouette of bare trees. As the sun goes down, watch them appear black and strikingly beautiful against the sky.

10. Go to a cappuccino bar, drink decaf and get to know one another.

11. Go sleigh riding.

12. Go for a walk in the snow and catch snow flakes on your tongue.

13. End a winter walk with hot chocolate and mini marshmallows.

14. Go to an arcade.

15. Rent a movie and pop some corn.

16. Rent and watch the video "It's a Wonderful Life!"

17. Assemble a really challenging puzzle.

18. Play board games.

19. Take a night-time walk to look at your neighbours holiday decorations and lights.

20. Go skiing -- downhill or cross-country.

Spring Ideas

1. Go wild-flower hunting. Pick your date a bouquet of wild-flowers. Put some in his/her hair.

2. Go for a walk in the park together.

3. Plant a window garden together.

4. Skip stones on a lake.

5. Have a picnic.

6. Go horseback riding.

7. Go on a hike.

8. Hire a professional guide and go rock climbing.

9. Go on a hot air balloon ride.

10. Go to the zoo to see the new baby animals that were born this spring.

11. Go for a walk in the rain (an umbrella is optional) and sing "Singing in the Rain!" really loudly.

12. Rent a bicycle built for two.

13. Go to a comedy club.

14. Look in your local paper for free or inexpensive concerts, shows and fairs.

15. Go to a park and play on the swings.

16. Play tennis.

Summer Ideas

1. Go to the top of a very tall building to watch the sun go down.

2. Jump through sprinklers together.

3. Go star gazing. Name a star for your date.

4. Lie on the grass and watch clouds. Use your imagination and talk about what you see in the clouds.

5. Go to an amusement park, go on scary rides and eat cotton candy.

6. Go rafting or canoeing or tubing (using a truck inner tube).

7. Walk on the beach. Bury each other in the sand.

8. Visit a boardwalk or carnival and play games.

9. Get up really early and meet to watch the sun rise -- then go for breakfast at a diner.

10. Run in a 5 K race together.

11. Do a walk-a-thon (for some cause you care about) together.

12. Go fishing.

13. Write a message and tie it to a balloon (or send it off in a bottle). Ask whoever finds it to mail you the message and tell you where they found it.

14. Get a group together and go camping.

15. Make home made ice-cream!

16. Watch a Little League game and cheer like you're watching the pros.

Fall Ideas

1. Decorate the house for Halloween or Thanksgiving.

2. Carve pumpkins.

3. Go apple picking and make an apple pie with the apples.

4. Go in-line skating.

5. Make a scarecrow together.

6. Go bike riding.

7. Get a big old barrel, water, and apples and invite a group of friends to dunk for apples. Have a camera available. There will be great shots!

8. Go to a flea market. Find the silliest thing for sale.

9. Go to a historic site. Try to talk like people from that period of time.

10. Go to a football game and cheer for the underdog, or for your home team.

Dating Tips - Does No ALWAYS Mean No?

2008-06-20T03:52:00.000-07:00

Some New Issues About The Question Of The Online Dating Safety

2008-06-20T03:38:00.000-07:00

We have already written some times about the most important rules of your online dating safety. But as you know, you can not be too careful, that's why such problems can be described more and more. Though there is a lot of information in the Internet, the only thing you must remember every time you enter the world wide web is that nobody will protect you better than you. Sure, all dating sites usually provide a thoughtful reasonable policy to protect their clients - but it can be effective only in the case when all the clients know the potential danger of their openness and sincerity towards some people, who misuse dating services and their functions.
As for example, friends - we often live in apartment communities where the neighbour is as much a stranger as the man in the street. And now combine this with long working hours, stressful careers, busy diaries and the need for rest and recuperation and there are far fewer outlets for dating agencies than before. Indeed many would argue that the modern dating agency is in fact the workplace first and foremost with the after work bar a close second.

Always let them come to you, don't chase via email
Block anyone who annoys you instantly – and communicate just with persons you like
Use the best photo you can find
Don't reply to instant messages with clever opening lines
Remain aloof and let yourself be chased
Always reply to emails at least 3 days after receipt - it is a general rule, not just concerned about your safety
Never provide your true email or phone - when you start dating online, register a new e-mail, there are a lot of free email services in the Internet, so, it is not a problem to have hundreds of emails
Always date safely and protect yourself at every turn
Make sure your login name is stunning and sexy as well as enigmatic
Do not login for hours on end. Short, rapid visits are best
Do not assume the man you are talking to is destitute or sad
Never ever reply to emails at weekends, wait until a weekday
Never state how good your sexual performance is in your profile - it is the thing you should prove it in the bed, not in the words
If you don't want to date married men spell it out in your profile
A man who doesn't reply to your email within 3 days should be ignored
Make sure your humour levels come across in text
Do not chat to hundreds of women/men at once, the delay in replying is a dead giveaway it won't amuse them
Don't even think about misrepresenting your size or description. They will find out
Come across as cool and sophisticated for best results
Use an online service that allows you to post more than one photo for free
Do not use completely free agencies as you often don't get top quality services because they are expensive to run
Do find an online agency that offers email and messaging that are onsite
Do provide your correct mailing address when registering to receive the best facilities
Don't use agencies that insist on sending emails to your own home email inbox from site members

Your Nose Could Be The Best Compass While Seeking Your Soulmate

2008-06-20T03:02:00.000-07:00

Everybody knows about love from the first look. That's how we choose our soulmate, looking at his appearance, mimicry, gestures. We also can hear his or her talking — and fall in love with the voice. But one of the dating agencies offered something revolutionary — a matchmaking by smell.
According to the founders of that dating site, they can find you a partner who's heaven scent - forget speed dating or blind dates. When it comes to meeting the man of your dreams, the answer could lie no further than the end of your nose.
A dating website claims the key to a finding a perfect match lies in body odour, with women preferring men who smell very differently to themselves, and vice versa.
For £1,000 they will analyse a person's DNA for genes linked to the smell of sweat and then provide them with a list of potential suitors with different body odour to their own. The service, advertised as the first "to find matches who share chemical attraction with each other", is based around a series of scientific studies which have shown that opposites really do attract.
Research shows that our sweat contains genes linked to the immune system and our ability to fight off disease. The more different these major histocompatibility, or MHC, genes are to your own, the more pleasant you find a person - and their sweat. It is thought the phenomenon evolved to prevent us unintentionally mating with relatives - or others who are genetically similar to us.
It also ensures that any children a couple have will have broad immunity against disease. Those who sign up to that dating service are asked to provide details about themselves, their interests and the sort of person they would like to meet. Subscribers also asked to provide a sample of cells swabbed from the inside of their cheeks. DNA from the cells is then analysed in the lab for the MHC genes, and the results are compared with that of other subscribers.
True love is not the only potential benefit, with the company saying chemically-matched couples will have more satisfying sex lives and be less inclined to cheat. The latter claim is based on a recent study showing that when couples share very similar MHC genes, the woman is more likely to be sexually dissatisfied with their partner, have a roving eye - and even an affair.
[From online dating post]

Women: Five Men You Should Avoid Dating

2008-06-19T23:39:00.000-07:00

The Mamma's Boy This guy probably lives with his mother, if not close enough for her to pop in for tea (every night). She will have helped him pick out his decor and there will be photos of her all over his apartment. He goes for Sunday dinner and has several cartons of homemade meals in the refrigerator that mom made for him.
Why you should stay away: You will never live up to his mother and although he will love and cherish you forever he will take his mother's side every time.
How to get rid of him: Tell him you don't like his mother.
The Body BuilderThis guy will have photos of himself on every available space, along with his own home gym (even though he has a life time membership at the swanky one in town). He has all the latest gadgets and home entertainment systems.
Why you should stay away: You will never see him as he is always down at the gym. He will spend more time in the bathroom then you. He collects trophies and likes one hanging off his arm.
How to get rid of him: Tell him to give up the gym for you.
The Womanizer This guy will treat you like a princess and is the perfect lover. He dresses well and is out to impress and impress he will (every woman he comes in contact with). He will, of course, have trouble remembering your name, with all the women he has on the go.
Why You should stay away: His excuses for not showing up are getting more pathetic. You will have to compete with his phone as he has so many calls to return and text messages to answer.
How to get rid of him: Tell him, "I use to be a man."
The Workaholic This man is going places, but will he be taking you with him? He is smartly dressed, has great taste in decor and eats at the finest restaurants. However, his work will always come first.
Why you should stay away: You have to make an appointment to see him. He will take you to elegant dinner parties then leave you with strangers while he talks shop.
How to get rid of him: Tell him, "I’m taking a year off to travel. Do you want to come?"
Your College LecturerHe is probably older than you, more worldly and gets you a good grade.
Why you should stay away: If anyone found out about you, they would say you slept your way to better grades. Plus, he would lose his job and possibly his teaching position.
How to get rid of him: Tell him somebody is blackmailing you and if you don’t stop seeing him, they are going to report you.
Of course, there are exceptions. For example, if "the body builder" knows how to give you the same type of attention he gives his body then this could potentially be a good thing (as long as you can handle other women trying to pick up on him). And if you are a workaholic that has no plans of changing then being in a relationship with another workaholic will allow the two of you to focus more on your careers while hopefully having some focus left for each other. If "mamma's boy" mom loves you and you can get the same focus from the man as his mom gives then just maybe... it's a stretch. Remember, it's doubtful any of these men will change so it's best not to try and change them.
A good approach to take in wanting out of one of these relationships is to be honest. This may gain more respect. Tell "mamma's boy" that he's too focused on his mom. Tell the womanizer that you only have room in your life for a man that only has room for you. It's doubtful that they'll change, but at least they'll know the real reason you don't want to pursue a relationship.

10 Important Dating Tips for Men

2008-06-19T23:34:00.000-07:00

There is a saying that "you never get a second chance to make a good first impression." With that in mind, it is vital to be fully prepared to make a great impression on each date you go on. Here are 10 tips for men on dating success and making an impression that will last.
1. Take a Bath or ShowerOne of the worst things you could do when going out on a date (especially if it is your first date) is to turn up unshaven, looking dirty and smelling. Women are the cleaner of the species and will partly judge you on how hygienic you are. After all, you would be appalled if she turned up for the date looking like a mutt dog with tangled fur that hadn't bathed for days.
It doesn’t cost anything to take a bath and to make an effort to look and smell nice. Remember, bad breath and body odor are an instant turn off and she will assume that this is how you are all the time even if you are just having a bad day. As a result, she won’t be able to see beyond your appearance.
2. Arrive on TimeWhatever you do, don’t turn up late. Turning up late will send out all the wrong impressions. At first she may think she's been stood up, but after arriving late her opinion will change to you being unreliable or not caring enough about her to be on time. If you are picking her up from her home then it is advisable to turn up five minute before you are due. Any earlier and you might catch her adjusting her makeup or still getting ready. Five minutes early is the earliest you should arrive. But never be late.
3. Give Her a Thoughtful GiftA woman feels special when the man she is with gives her a thoughtful gift. What is a thoughtful gift? Well, you obvious know some things about a woman before a first date that came from phone conversations, emails, etc. Take what you know and buy her an appropriate date gift. For example, let's say that the woman really likes golf. There are companies that make chocolate golf sets - a miniature chocolate club with a chocolate tee and chocolate golf ball. This would make a great first date gift. For a generic thoughtful gift, buy a chocolate rose. That's always appropriate without being overboard.
4. Be a GentlemanHold the door open for her, let her walk through the doors first, pull her chair, and be polite to her along with the people around you. Women like to feel special and by treating her like a lady she will think you are fantastic.
5. Compliment Her The first thing to say to her is you look beautiful before you even ask how she is. Keep up the compliments throughout your date, but do not go over board (3-4 for the night should be more than enough). A woman loves to be complimented, to feel beautiful and to think that you are attracted to her. The more sincere and observant your compliment, the bigger impact it will have. But remember again not to go overboard. More than four compliments may make you appear fake and not real.
6. Listen to Her and Ask QuestionsNobody wants to spend the whole night listening to someone talk about themselves. But you do have to get to know each other. Ask her questions, but more importantly listen to what she has to say. A woman is attracted to a man who is genuinely interested in hearing what she has to say. Spend a lot more time asking her questions and letting her talk than talking yourself.
7. Prepare for the ConversationThe last thing you want is to be sitting at a meal with nothing to talk about. Think about your date and what you would like to know about her. You may think that it is easy to talk and that you will not run out of questions to ask or that you will automatically have the answers but until you are in the situation, you have no idea what it will be like. Avoid talking about past relationships or other women while on the date. Keep your focus, attention, and conversation fully on her.
8. Pay for the DateIt's virtually always appropriate for a gentleman to offer to pay for the date. When a man takes it upon himself to pay for the date, he is displaying that old act of "chivalry" that is missing from many men these days. However, some women feel more comfortable going "dutch" and if she insists on this, then don't resist. To avoid awkwardness, make sure you let her know before the date that you plan on paying for it.
9. The Goodnight Kiss Some women prefer not to kiss after a first date, while others may be disappointed if the guy doesn't even try. There is no easy answer to this question. Body language and chemistry throughout the night is key in the decision you make. If it feels right, then you may want to consider making the move. If it doesn't feel right then a friendly hug may be more appropriate.
10. I'll Call YouOnly tell her that you will call her if you mean it and intend on seeing her again. Do not, under any circumstances, tell her you will call her if you are not interested and have no plans to call her. In this case, when saying goodbye, just say, "It was nice meeting you" and wish her luck. Or you could just say good night, smile and walk a way. But if you do like her and are interested, then you must let her know.

Online Dating Tips: Protect Your Identity

2008-06-19T21:20:00.000-07:00

Online dating is so widely accepted now that many people let down their guard when it comes to communicating and meeting others. Don't let this happen to you. Here are four ways to protect your identity and be safer until the time is right:
1) Use an anonymous email account and make sure your full name isn't in the FROM area of emails (edit your account and change the name so that your name doesnt show on emails you send). This should be an account you created and use only for online dating.
2) There are several companies, like MyPrivateLine, that give you a temporary phone number that can't be traced. Home phone numbers can easily be traced to an address using Google and cell phone numbers can be easily traced to an address using a paid service.
3) Meet for the first time in a public place. Make sure a friend knows where you are at and who you are with.
4) Once you get to know someone better, consider doing a background check ($50+) on the person just for your own piece of mind.
Pledge to always stay safe and never let your guard down. Listen to your gut instincts. Online dating is an awesome way to meet new, fun, and exciting people. Keeping safe will help keep you away from the few that try and give online dating a bad name.

Protect Yourself Against Online Relationship Scams

2008-06-19T21:16:00.000-07:00

Searching for romance over the Internet has become more and more popular over the years. Online dating is nearly a billion dollar industry and scammers are cashing in on the trend, taking advantage of unsuspecting men and women.
Every day, scammers target hundreds of online daters, and many have fallen prey to scams that cost online daters, on average, of more than $3,000. They do it by posing as women overseas and send you a note through an online dating service. They pretend to be interested in you and provide their "email address" so that you can continue communicating offline.
Scammers use email to try and build an online relationship with you and they eventually profess their love. Once you do too, the scam kicks into high gear. An "emergency" (mother hospitalized, surgery needed) suddenly arises and they ask for money. Or they say they want to meet you, but need money to apply for a VISA to come see you. Little does the victim know that he's talking to professional con artists and has likely been communicating with another man, not a woman! The scams can get quite complex, including men hiring a girl to call you and pose as your online love interest.
You can avoid being a victim of online relationship scams by taking note of these warning signs:
Being Asked for MoneyThis is the most telltale sign of a scam. No matter what you think or what other people might say, it just isn’t a normal behavior to ask for money if you've never met someone in person. Scammers are quite creative – they will ask you to help with airfare so they can come and visit, cash a check, help out with an emergency for you to send a money order and so on. Some will ask for money fairly quick and others will show patience while trying to build a relationship with you, getting you to fall for the imaginary person in the profile they set up.
Initiating First ContactScammers virtually always are the first to initiate contact with you. If you get an email (or wink) from someone overseas, it's best not to respond.
Wanting to Communicate via EmailAn online scammer will want to take your communications to email as soon as possible because they know their profile may soon be deleted when an online dating service notices their pattern of emailing people. So many times in the very first or second email they will give you an email address and ask you to email them.
Fake PicturesSome scammers will cut or scan photos from magazines. Trust your instincts. If you feel the photo is suspicious, chances are it’s probably a fake. But that's not always the case, as many scammers will actually steal someone else's photo and post it. Photos are usually of a very beautiful woman. Don't fall for it.
Unwillingness to Share InformationThe person you are talking to showers you with attention and he seems to be overly interested in everything about you, yet doesn’t share a lot of information about themselves. If they are avoiding your questions like a seasoned politician, then run..
Messages VaryIf you are exchanging emails with someone overseas, watch out for inconsistencies like a variation in the style of the email, language differences, repetitive statements, etc.. The scammer who initiated the communication with you may not always be the same one that carries it through. If something doesn't seem right about the emails you are receiving, then its not right.
Besides looking out for red flags you can take other measures to further protect yourself:
1) Be the one always initiating communication via online dating services.
2) Guard your privacy.
3) Communicate with people locally, not overseas.
4) Trust your gut instinct from the start.
5) Never reply to communications from someone who sends you a note and immediately includes their email address for you to continue the communication.
Many people have fallen prey to online relationship scams. In one case, two men showed up at the same airport to meet a girl from overseas that they had sent money to for her "flight". Both were left holding flowers at the airport staring at each other. They had apparently been duped by the same scammer.
While it is true that there are many people who find life partners over the Internet, it is best to always be on your guard when using online dating services. Don't get scammed!